The Trauma of Ghosting in Online Dating

When you ghosted me, all I know is that you were too scared to say that we’re not meant to be.

Exactly when we start to have a love interest for somebody, we start feeling committed to them in any aspect. For instance, we are extraordinarily ready to stretch out our capacities just to convey our warmth to the person we care about and guarantee that they deserve respect.

Nonetheless, envision a situation where one day, all that we plan for and anticipate winds up going down the drain.

Why? No one knows.

Since the start of online dating in 1994, relationships have gotten more vulnerable due to unanticipated conditions that happen past somebody’s end. People experience excruciating separations and lament making connections that don’t last. It’s unavoidable. It’s alarming.

As we face the reality of dating, a relationship can end due to a variety of factors. The idea is that by far most people learn that couples seldom talk about what has truly happened before setting themselves free from a particular part of their lives.

Of course, closure doesn’t happen for the time being. Others choose not to say a single word and imagine that nothing has happened.

Some claim to a degree that they never had any kind of contact at all. They basically ghost you.

Throughout the years, the term online dating ghosting dominated the web in 2014 when a New York-based writer and visual expert, Hannah VanderPoel, used the word in her parody music video entitled Ghoster’s Paradise.

The term was formed when VanderPoel had no words to point out her intended meaning. Regardless of how long you talk about dating, ghosting is never not feasible.

So, what is ghosting?

Ghosting is the act of abruptly terminating contact with others without warning or explanation. This is most common in intimate relationships. The person with whom you communicated begins to disregard your texts, phone calls, and other forms of communication.

While ghosting occurs in face-to-face interactions as well, it is most prevalent in the online dating scene. It can happen right away or after a few months of getting to know someone.

Users of various ages are increasingly dependent on trading messages with anyone they match with through dating apps on their phones.

The availability of dating apps is one of the reasons why online daters ghost anyone because the choices are presented to them on a silver platter.

When would you realize you’re going to be ghosted?

The Perceptual Pattern of Ghosting

• On and off communication

At the beginning of dating, you and the person you’re interacting with send messages each and every day. From the second you awaken, you’ll send and get a decent morning message, and in the evening, you don’t rest without saying good night.

However, if the repetitive texting is reduced to once or twice a week for no identifiable reason, you might be interacting with a ghoster.

So you begin sending messages such as, “You didn’t reply but I got your message.”

However, people who have the ability to ghost others are more likely to experience this type of behavior. The ghostee becomes puzzled as a result of this inconsistency.

All things considered, overthinking begins to overwhelm their true serenity.

• Brief responses

The length of responses may be another indication that people ghost. People don’t dispute that once you start communicating with someone you’re interested in, you’ll both start sending long messages.

However, if you begin to receive okay, ahh, really, hmm, haha, and hehe, you should inquire as to whether something is wrong.

If you’ve already sent them a message about it and they still didn’t reply, you should take the initiative to cut the remaining ties between you.

• Shutting connection

This is the point at which the real disappearing act starts.

You no longer have contact with the person. They don’t even return your messages, calls, or meet you personally. Full detachment.

The worst thing is that you never got to hear their reason or excuse for ending the relationship, or at the very least listen to each other’s side for more insights.

• Taking off association on social networks

Expect to be unfriended, blocked, unfollowed, and unmatched on all accounts where the two of you are linked if the individual has not reached out to you after numerous attempts.

What else can you do if the only thing that keeps the relationship going is the great memories you had with the person?

The Aftermath of Ghosting

• Distrusting your worth

At worst, being ghosted can cause you to doubt your own worth as an individual. It leaves you puzzled, curious, and anxious about what is really going on. Doubt dominates you to the point that nothing makes sense.

As a result of how your previous relationship ended, you are wary of becoming involved in another one.

• Inviting resentment

When you are ghosted by someone else, distrust isn’t the only unpleasant feeling that runs throughout your system.

Your insecurities start to overtake you. You become transparent.

For instance, if someone you regard as unique ultimately stops communicating with you, you may conclude that you’re not really good enough and you don’t deserve anything. While there are many reasons for why this occurs, you could even condemn yourself.

How to Overcome Ghosting

Nobody can ever portray the agony of those who are ghosted. Besides that, in light of the pain they are feeling, they consider planning for revenge on the person who ghosted them in order to suffer the same agony.

Have you figured out the best thing to do yet? Or what to do when someone ghosts you?

TAKE NO ACTION.

If everything else remains normal, keep on with your life and push forward until you reach the goal you’ve been anticipating. There’s a chance you’ll find your perfect match there.

Remind yourself that your pain does not change the fact that you are deserving of the most genuine love the world has to offer. So, for the time being, maintain your dignity.

It's Not Your Fault If You've Been Ghosted

Reprimanding yourself for a failed relationship does nothing but aggravate the situation.

You were correct in investing in the relationship. You devote more attention to the person you adore. You make your romantic partner feel important. You accomplish things in order to please them.

The reason, on the other hand, has nothing to do with you if you’ve been ghosted. Furthermore, never ghost someone just because you have had an experience with it.

You must note that not everything turns out to be easy from the moment you commit to a relationship. It’ll always be an experience.